Archive | February, 2012

Jane By Design 109: The line to be Ben Quimby’s camping buddy forms behind me.

29 Feb

The big news this week is that I finally got my computer fixed, which means that if you aren’t watching, you no longer have to take my word for it when it comes to Ben Quimby’s adorability: Now I’ve got gifs aplenty to back it up.

Anyway, this week it became apparent to me that a viewer’s understanding of this show is inversely proportionate to how many episodes they’ve seen. For example, I think it would be very easy for a new viewer to watch this episode and fill in the blanks themselves, but, having seen every single episode of this ridiculous show, I spent most of the hour wondering what the hell was going on and what I’d missed, because nothing makes any sense.

Well, one thing makes sense. One thing makes TOTAL SENSE, and if they used up all their sense on that, then I’m fine, because it was WORTH IT.

Elsewhere, though, we’ve got India pining over a guy we’ve never seen her care about. We’ve got Gray and Jane acting like they’re only just realizing that maybe they don’t trust India. And we’ve got Lulu dumping Billy for never putting her first when actually, their priorities have always been more or less in line. Everything is stupid, basically.

Jane By Design 108: The One Where I Pretend It’s an OC Crossover

27 Feb

This week on JBD, Autumn Reeser plays a socialite who’s commissioned Donovan himself to design her wedding dress for what’s supposed to be the closest thing America will ever have to a royal wedding. This character has a name and a little bit of backstory; I have ignored it, because this episode is about what happens when Taylor Townsend asks Donovan Decker to design the dress she wears when she marries Ryan Atwood. End of story!

One Tree Hill 907: That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.

23 Feb

Look, just because Chad Michael Murray came back for this episode [“came back” being a loose term, since it seems PRETTY CLEAR that he agreed to shoot for MAYBE an hour and didn’t actually want to visit the set, which, that’s his business, and also this way my girl Sophia Bush didn’t have to deal with avoiding him so it’s all fine by me but WORTH NOTING], doesn’t mean I’m going to talk about it the whole time. Lucas was mostly irrelevant. All his scenes took place at the airport, because he flew into Tree Hill to pick up Jamie and whatever the baby’s name is so he could take them back with him to wherever he and Peyton live so that Haley can freak out all alone in her gigantic scary house. [Remember when the front door to the house and also the cafe were suspiciously left open? Was Haley right that it was Dan? What was that about?] Luke is such a shitty friend, you guys. Like, he offers to stay in Tree Hill and Haley says no, but his brother is missing and maybe dead, why hasn’t he been in Tree Hill this whole time SUPPORTING HIS FAMILY IN THIS DIFFICULT TIME?

One Tree Hill 906: It’s a list of all the nutballs things on this show – make it two notepads.

22 Feb

Before we begin, you should know that after seeing the preview for 907, which airs tonight, I am preparing to cancel EVERYTHING I have going on for the next year and a half, because I am going to need at LEAST that long to recover from what will happen tonight: LUCAS SCOTT IS COMING BACK, AND HIS HAIR IS DISGUSTING! If I do not post a recap of the episode tomorrow, please know that is it because I have been sent into a Chad Michael Murray coma, and there is no cure.

Turn of the Century Tuesday: MTV Party to Go 2000

21 Feb

Look, I’m not going to lie to you or make this thing into more than it is: Party to Go 2000 isn’t the best CD ever. That’s Now 5; we all know that, and there’s no point in pretending otherwise. But Party to Go 2000, which my friend Rachel gave me for my twelfth birthday, is honestly an amazing specimen, and now that I have a car with no aux jack or tape deck and have dragged out all my CDs, it is basically all I want to listen to for the rest of my life. What’s most important about it, and the reason that it survived this summer’s Great CD Purge, is that it’s BEST in CD form, because the songs are all mixed to transition into each other and it sounds ridiculous broken up into individual tracks.

Wikipedia tells me that Party to Go was a decade-long series and that this was the penultimate installment. Clearly, once 2000 was finished and ready to go, the powers that be at MTV realized they’d never top it, so they put out a remix edition, called it a day, and switched over to reality shows about teenagers.

Jane By Design 106/107: Ben Quimby reads Twilight; is adorable.

21 Feb

In the two weeks I’ve spent falling behind on this show, the internet has finally figured out how old Erica Dasher is, and she’s somehow 25? Maybe even 26? And we might have briefly been students at the same college at the same time? So apparently it’s not the entire staff of Donovan Decker that can’t identify a teenager, it’s me.

You might as well watch this, because it is happening.

14 Feb

Clay Aiken, my reality TV obsession of 2003 + The Apprentice, my reality TV obsession of 2004 = weekly posts about The Celebrity Apprentice. It’s going to be a thing.

[I know all anyone remembers from the first season of The Apprentice – if they remember anything at all – is that Giuliana Rancic is married to the dude who won, and also Omarosa. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! It was Troy and Kwame and their beautiful, perfect BFFery, it was crazy Sam and his cowboy hat trying to sell a dude a thousand dollar cup of lemonade, it was Carolyn and George being total badasses as Trump’s advisors, it was the grand prize on one challenge being a tour of Donald Trump’s hideously tacky apartment, it was the final task being to manage a JESSICA SIMPSON concert. I own the first season of The Apprentice on DVD, you guys. It’s serious between us. As for Clay Aiken, I’ve seen him live three times. THRICE.]


9 Feb

I don’t even know how to handle this, you guys. Ever since Tara showed up last week, I’ve been trying to figure out why she’s so familiar – was it just that she almost reminded me of Allison Mack? The name Chelsea Kane didn’t ring any bells, so I shrugged it off [read: forgot to look it up] until I was watching this episode, when I finally turned to IMDb and promptly had my mind blown, BECAUSE THAT’S CHELSEA STAUB. The nice thing about my decision to focus this blog on things like ABC Family Original Series instead of, say, Breaking Bad, is that I already have no credibility, so I don’t have to worry about ruin ing it when I say that I know Chelsea Staub from Jonas, the Disney Channel series about the Jonas Brothers, only in the show their last name was Lucas and their band was still called Jonas for some reason. [Maybe their stage surname was Jonas? I don’t remember.] ANYWAY it ran for 34 episodes, and I have seen EIGHTEEN of those [I was hoping it would be something dignified like six, but no], and Chelsea Staub played their stylist/Joe’s best friend/Joe’s sometimes girlfriend, and she was ADORABLE, and now she is Tara, one in a long line of soulless, undeveloped troublemakers whose only purpose is to mess with the main cast’s lives and be as destructive as possible. Congratulations on what I assume was an effort to shed the Disney image that nobody even knew you had, Chelsea Staub Kane!

Jane By Design 105: Fake iPhone, Real Paris

7 Feb

[Apologies for the delay! Normally I watch the show and post this on Wednesday afternoons, but I spent Wednesday afternoon at work and then almost died, soooo, you know, slight scheduling change. Let’s see if I even remember this episode.]

This week’s episode was weirdly uneven – there was a lot going on in a lot of places in the first half, but the second half was all Jane and her search for the Donovan Decker lookbook. This might just be my Ben Quimby love talking, since he vanished for good just before the episode’s halfway mark, but it made for a pretty dull viewing experience.

One Tree Hill 904: These people all know each other?

2 Feb

Good news, folks! One Tree Hill has ventured all the way back into nutballs territory, and if the promo for next week is any indication, it’s STAYING there for a nice long while. And the weird flash-forwards from the season premiere are finally coming around – this week we saw Clay and Quinn’s fight from the premiere play out [and then immediately get resolved, duh]. The predictions are coming true! It’s like I’m watching Lost!