ALL THE PILOTS 2013: Back in the Game

13 Sep

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN, and this year I’ve got an ACTUAL FUNCTIONING INTERNET CONNECTION, so I’ll be able to properly subject myself to all the garbage the networks are putting out. It’s not just me, right? Outside of Fox and the CW it looks like we’re dealing exclusively with garbage? SO MUCH GARBAGE. ALL THE GARBAGE 2013.

Speaking of garbage, I started this season with Back in the Game!

Fuck this show. Maggie Lawson and Lenora Crichlow deserve so much better, although I’m not sure what else anyone expected from a show by two dudes whose last job was on Work It.

Back in the Game is the story of Terry Gannon Junior (Maggie Lawson), the daughter of Terry “The Cannon” Gannon (James Caan). Terry and her son Danny move back in with The Cannon after Terry’s messy divorce.

The show’s first problem is that it has a character named The Cannon. This can be dealt with, though (and it’s about the only thing that can be). Danny needs to start calling him Grandpa or something, and Terry can just call him Terry or Dad or WHATEVER, anything so long as people aren’t saying “The Cannon” all the time like it’s not totally unnatural-sounding.

The pilot starts off with some timeline fuckery, which is ALWAYS encouraging and absolutely never indicative of a story that knows it won’t hook you if it’s told in order, but once we’ve been introduced to the characters – ugh, you know what, who cares. I can’t even pretend like this show is worth writing about. Everyone on it is an asshole in a joyless, mean-spirited, uncaring kind of way that clearly originates with the writers, the gross misogynist attitude of Terry’s nemesis and his buddies is written in that awful way where you know actual gross misogynists are just going to be quoting it sincerely, making little kids the butt of jokes for being gay/fat/unathletic/Spanish-speaking is cheap as hell, and The Cannon is a total mess because you know that over the course of the series he and Terry are going to reconcile, but there’s nothing in him worth reconciling with. She’s always held it against him that he promised her he’d never miss one of her college games, but she never once saw him in the stands – and then she finds out that he taped every single one! Well, okay, but he’s still a fucking asshole who led her to believe that he’d be there and then let her down every single time. He’s also still a man who WHIPPED HIS DICK OUT AT A CHILDREN’S BASEBALL GAME AND PISSED ON HOME PLATE because he disagreed with a call. Great dad. Great character. So excited to see what a warm and caring guy he secretly is despite all evidence to the contrary.

Sometimes a shitty dad is just a shitty dad. SOMETIMES A SHITTY SITCOM IS JUST A SHITTY SITCOM.

[Lenora Crichlow is great.]

One Response to “ALL THE PILOTS 2013: Back in the Game”

  1. Emma September 14, 2013 at 11:14 pm #

    I laughed one time, so that puts it one up on at least three other new sitcoms!

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