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How to Fall in Love (Hallmark, 2012)

22 Jul

Still suffering from the ugly-duckling syndrome that branded his youth, Harold White (Eric Mabius) hires Annie Hayes (Brooke D’Orsay), the pretty and popular girl he knew in high school, to be his dating coach and help him shed his wallflower approach to romance. Annie even enlists her friend Kim (Kathy Najimy), a waitress at a local diner, to be Harold’s practice date. Annie draws Harold out of his shell and teaches him to win over a new love interest with the help of their shared passion for classic love songs. But when sparks unexpectedly fly between “student” and “teacher,” both Harold and Annie must learn how to make up for past mistakes if they’re going to hold onto true love.

THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING, YOU GUYS. Obviously, this is relative: There are better movies. There are better movies with this exact premise. But this movie, with these people, on this channel, is EVERYTHING you could ever want it to be. I started watching twenty minutes in, predicted the rest of the movie after watching for five minutes, was right down to the last detail, and loved it. Granted, the final lines of the movie are a little weird (“You have excellent taste in music.” …Really?), which has the unfortunate effect of tinging my final impression of an otherwise FLAWLESS cable romcom with a little bit of WTF, but otherwise, WHO CARES, EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.

SPOILER ALERT! Just kidding, you can’t possible spoil a movie everyone’s already seen forty versions of.

Crimes of Fashion (ABC Family, 2004)

1 Jan

Crimes of Fashion is the story of Brooke Taylor, a student at the prestigious-sounding Fashion University [sister school: Design State]. As it turns out, Brooke, who spent her childhood in foster care after her parents were killed in a car accident, had a grandfather she never knew, and he’s a recently deceased mob boss. According to his second-in-command, it’s up to Brooke to take control of the family business and fulfill her late grandfather’s dream: Transitioning it into a legitimate enterprise.

Brooke’s got her own problems, though – Megan Fox is always SUPER mean to her, her crush has no idea she even exists, she can’t tell her friends about her new life, and there’s this new guy she keeps running into!

Can Brooke find love and pass her wedding dress class? Can a girl who never had a family learn to lead one?

A better question: Does anything in this movie make sense?